“I chase waterfalls.”
“Girl, you know what they say.”We would all chuckle, and then I would hear, “You know what TLC said. “Don’t go chasing waterfalls…””I would respond, “But what have the rivers and lakes done for me?”In a world turned upside down by the COVID-19 pandemic, this Black immigrant woman chased waterfalls. The pandemic that shut the world down made some of us—or at least me—take a pause. Life, death, fear, anger… all of it intermingling.Fear: I would not see my mother again. The ghost of colonialism had us living in two different parts of the world.Fear: my daughter. I could not bring myself to imagine life without her.Fear: my 90+-year-old grandmother lived in the epicenter of it all.I spent hours praying that their lives would be spared.And then there was the fear that I would die alone. I had recently moved to N.C. and had not had time to build deep connections. Yeah, I knew a few people. But would they find my body or... and I can’t bear to write about the "or" that crossed my mind.Fear intermingled with anger.Anger: about the way the pandemic was handled by those in charge of the governmentAnger: about the perpetual murders of Black, Brown, and Indigenous people. Even during the pandemic, they were murdering us.Isolation …. Fear…. Sheltering in placeTo manage it all, I wrapped myself in silence, and I found silence chasing waterfalls.I would hike for hours, chasing waterfalls. It was just me, the sound of my footfalls on the path and the distant gushing water. That first sound is something I cannot capture in words. As soon as I heard it, I would pause, close my eyes, and let it soothe me. In that moment, all that swirled inside me was calm. The plummeting sound of the water spiraling through space invited me to pause, even before I laid eyes on the falls.I learned the beauty in the pause.So, I trained my ear to listen—to the trees, shrubs, and the calls of different birds and insects. I learned to welcome the gnat that inevitably greeted me on the path to the waterfall lake.I would stand in silence, staring at the plunging water; it reminded me of the emotions coexisting within me each time I saw the ticker indicating the death toll. Each time I turned on the news to learn of another murder.Standing at the bottom, staring up at the crest, I paused. I was humbled by how the water spilled over the weir, like tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. Each moment, like each tear, held a different meaning.I quickly learned that the waterfall had its pause, and if I was attentive enough—meaning that I stopped thinking and allowed myself to feel—I could hear it in the glorious roar of the cascading water.I would stand at the edge of the forest, sometimes surrounded by thick greenery or the nakedness of the trees. The air would overflow with emotion, mingling with the damp, fragrant smell of the earth. I would imagine my people wading by the water in search of freedom.And so, I chased waterfalls, the way my people chase freedom and solace. We hope that all the ills holding us hostage will be washed away. One day, we will flow freely like the waterfall.
Back to Artistic Expressions Page chasing water falls jordan zachery
